In June 2003, my god-daughter was born. Adeline Marie Palmquist. She is the 3rd beautiful daughter of my best friend, Jill. It was such an honor to have Jill and Allen ask me to be her Godmother, especially since my faith in God has been tested on a few occasions. Jill and Allen are devote Catholics and have made their love of God and faith of primary importance in their lives and in the raising of their five children (Christopher, Elise, Theresa, Addie and Billy). I think they are blessed and deservedly so. And, next week, Addie will have her First Communion, a momentous occasion that I am sure will lead her to a life of belief and faith in God. For her, a desk...hopefully to write down her thoughts, fix her makeup one day and as a token of my love for her.
Now you must understand, Jill and Allen are a shining beacon to me as I have navigated the fog of life. I have been adrift for a long time, wondering how to be a good person and finding that the path to righteousness is not an easy one. I have thought a lot of how to be a good Godmother and what it meant to be that special person in Addie’s life. I am not a devout Catholic…I’m not sure I’m devout about anything (except possibly being a devout fan of many things—John Denver, Russell Crowe, Michael Chiklis, Colin Firth, chocolate, historic buildings, old movies, a good afternoon nap, French toast, Virginia (although that is sort of a religion to me), the Very Modest Cottage, horses, little girls (especially Addie, Elise, Theresa, Ashley, Mackenzie and Madison), crafting to name few). Devotion to God is an entirely different category. Over the years, I have had more than a few pointed conversations with Him. Often I think, “what am I doing wrong?” Well I know the answer to that, really. I suppose to most I am hard on myself and to others, not quite hard enough. Nearly all my questionable decisions (in God’s eyes or yours, possibly) don’t arise out of maliciousness, but rather from a place of love: to love to be loved. I don’t know if God approves or not. I suppose the answer will have to wait for when I am sleeping on the wrong side of the grass. Until then, I guess what I do or say should be judged by one simple rule, one I think God would approve: is this something (whether behavior or words) that I am happy to teach Addie, dear sweet Adeline? Pretty good metric, I think. And after all isn’t being a Godmother all about being a good example really? If I have failed God, I’d like to think He understands my struggles and has not given up on my yet. I am a good person, flawed, but good. And in the end, isn’t that what Jill and Allen most wanted from me as the Godmother of their precious Adeline? I hope so.
